Discovery mode

It's the weekend (a long one for some), and weekends seem to influence our eating in interesting ways.

Sometimes our relationship with food goes into mindless mode because we've had a long week, worked hard, need a break, or just don't want to think about it.

Sometimes it's social mode where we delegate the eating decisions to the group - wine with the girls, wings with the guys, or pizza with the fam.

Mindless mode or social mode on weekends often lead to guilty restriction mode on Monday!

Examining these particular patterns is essential to reshaping your relationship with food. (Oh, and I lovingly invite you to trade the judgment that's already creeping in for curiosity if you want to do an A+ job ... which I know you do).

Be like the National Geographic researcher hiding in the bushes, watching your eating behavior in the wild!

What does this creature do? What does eating look like before meal plans, rules, fasting windows, and superfoods get their hands on it? What can you learn?

I call this discovery mode.

Greet the pull. Hello.

Get curious. Binoculars up and safari hat on! What can you discover?

Give permission. Go ahead and eat. Or don't. No matter right now. We're here to collect the data first.

If you discover something interesting, hit reply, and I'll prepare a little boost just for you!

I'm rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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Food is …

Food is comfort during hard times.

Food is celebration of life's joys.

Food's a momentary escape.

Food is art on a plate.

Food is ritual and tradition.

And cultural exploration.

Food is connection without words.

What are you reaching for today?

Greet the pull.
Get curious.
Give permission.

I'm rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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Tiny grief

Tiny grief is a sneaky little sadness that creeps in as the eating comes to a end. And it's really good at having us go back for more.

Like the pull to start eating, there are a lot of reasons this pull to keep eating makes sense ...

Delay. A daunting task awaits, and prolonging the meal delays the hard stuff.

Joy. The food is delightful and who wouldn't want more joy, especially in days that lack it.

Comfort. Eating shifts us away from discomfort or difficulty lurking beneath the surface. Keep eating to keep it at bay.

Connection. The food connects us to a person across the table or across the country. Get that hunger for connection fed a little longer.

A break. Grabbing a break is less socially acceptable than grabbing a bite. Keep biting so you can keep breaking.

Then next time you find yourself not wanting the meal (or scrolling or shopping or gaming ...) to end, see if tiny grief has snuck in.

Hello tiny grief. I see you.

Get curious. What are all the reasons it makes sense that this tiny grief might be here? Why might it makes sense to keep eating?

Give permission. It's okay to linger a little longer and care for yourself. Its ok to remember that you get to choose.

What’s the kindest most loving thing I can do for myself right now?

Go do that and see what happens.

I'm rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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Willing

It's not what we feel, but what we're unwilling to feel, that gets us into trouble with impulse.

If you're unwilling to experience a feeling, at the first sign of it, you'll take action to get out.

The feeling of hungry, lonely, sad, or bored, or even joy, pride, calm, or love.

You'll drink over it or game over it. You'll shop or scroll or work over it. You'll binge-watch or overeat over it,

Hello Pull.

Get curious. What might I be unwilling to feel here?

Identify it. Get to know your way around it.

What is your tolerance for it? What are the messages you took away from childhood about it?

How long are you willing to sit in the discomfort of this feeling, this sensation, to see what happens?

will·ing
/ˈwiliNG/
adjective
ready, eager, or prepared to do something

And, loving reminder, permission is ours to give. At any moment, we get to choose to bring in the supports. Eat. Scroll. Shop. Work. Something else ...

I'm rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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New information

If you see something that feels like new information to you, it's ok to make a new choice.

New realizations. New insights. New understanding.

Seeing something that you did not see before now, even if you now see it's been there all along.

It's ok to change your mind.

With a new discovery, you may ask yourself:

Does this inspire any action in me?

Do I want to continue making this choice?

It's how we evolve.

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Catalog of experiences

Each time I hit 'send' on this blog to you, it changes me.

It creates a new entry in my catalog of experiences that will alter the experiences that come after it.

I have irrefutable proof that I'm a person capable of doing something today that I had, until recently, never done before.

By writing one blog post, I can never again be a person who has not written a blog.

Our patterns of behavior are shaped by experience and continue to be reshaped by new experiences.

That's the most hopeful prospect for change one could imagine because then all change requires is focus on creating one new experience of that same old thing and adding it to the catalog.

With one conscious moment of experience just different enough from the entries of the past, you begin to reshape the present in more and more helpful ways.

What's one behavior, you'd like to change?

Next time it comes up, greet it.

Hello!

And begin to imagine what a different experience of that same old situation might look like.

I'm rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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1,092 invitations

I woke up this morning searching for something to write about.

Lying freshly awake in bed, I flipped through the ideas emerging in my head. I paused at each to see how far creativity could take the story before tossing it and moving on to the next one.

Then, I landed on this: I’m practicing.

Each new day is an invitation to practice.

What part of this blogging thing is being practiced right now?

The practice is showing up for practice. Getting in the experience of it.

Putting my fingers on the keyboard with enough awareness to learn something about myself as I shape ideas into blog-like words and share them with you.

Sure, I want to write the most engaging, insightful, helpful blog with just the right amount of science and story, word count, and wisdom. One that you can't help but share will all you're friends.

But the fastest way to get somewhere like there is often to start right here …

My bouncing knee, the particular tension in one spot in my neck, the pull to switch tasks every 143 seconds, and the discovery that the words seem to flow more easily into Notes on my iPhone than onto pages at my desk.

Eating is like this, too.

Most people don’t think of eating as a practice, but it most certainly is if you approach it that way.

Each time you eat is an invitation to learn something about yourself, your body, and your relationship to that food in that place with that person in that situation.

This discovery is essential to mastery.

And as long as we're alive, we have to eat, giving us endless invitations to practice. Just 3 meals a day becomes 21 possible practices a week, 90 a month, 1,092 a year.

If you showed up to even half of those as ‘practice’, do you think you could learn a little something? Refine a little bit?

Yeah, I think so too.

See if you can spot the next invitation to practice.

Greet it with a “Hello” and get curious about what’s there to discover.

Let me know what you find!

I’m rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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This moment

Change happens at the level of the moment. If in the moment, we can get aware enough to create a new experience of the same old sensation, then we can change.

If you get in the moment with me here and now, what does your moment contain?...

Mine contains a knee bouncing and tension in my neck as I sit to type my second-ever blog post. One hundred and forty-three other tasks are enticing me to hop up and attend to them. 

I could task skip for the next several hours eventually collapsing in disappointment with no time left to write this. Chances are the fridge would be one, or several stops along the way.

But I’m not choosing that experience this time. Instead, I’m going to greet the pull to that historical way and say hello to what this moment contains. 

Hello, bouncing knee! Hello, neck tension! Hello, pull to hop up! 

Hello, pull to 143 other seemingly important tasks! Hello, pull to have a snack and think about it all!

This moment contains some historical stuff too… Hello, 143 other times I said I would start a blog and didn’t! Hello, 10,043 half-started blogs and courses and books and businesses and worksheets on my computer! Hello, sulky feeling that everyone moves faster than me!

What historical stuff is in your moment?...

Things are shifting already and I’m chuckling a little. And the knee bounce is settling and the tension is loosening. 

I’m ready to give permission*. If you’re still playing along try this:

I fully acknowledge that I’m a grown a$$ adult (GAA) and have permission to choose what I want when I want it.

I fully give myself permission to write this blog post or not. Full permission to hop up and attend to one, all, or none of those pulls, or to task skip my way to infinity. 

And then ask this…

What’s the kindest most loving thing I can do for myself right now? 

I choose, to finish this blog here and take the win.

Welcome to your first taste of the Greet the Pull method of change. Stay tuned for more tomorrow.

I’m rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

*If you’re familiar with the Greet the Pull method, you may have noticed that I skipped the second step, Get Curious. With experience in the method, you’ll find curiosity turns on more easily sometimes and you won’t need an intentional step to get there. When you’re anchored back in your agency after greeting, move to permission.

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The leap (thanks Seth)

Seth Godin’s blog yesterday inspired this one today. 

Sometimes I leap well solo but mostly I like to grab a hand and leap together. Which is fitting, because I’ve come to see the world through the lens of relationships. And that has turned out to be more helpful than I could have imagined.

My leap today is to begin sharing that lens with you on the chance you find it helpful too.

Relationships sometimes begin in a classroom, on a street corner, or in a line at the bank. On a plane, in a cottage, or on a mountainside. Through shared adventure or adversity. In celebration or sadness.

Perhaps you intentionally swiped across a screen or walked across a room to begin one. Or perhaps you clicked ‘open’ on an email from a friend.

The relationship we have with food is a unique one and a juicy through-line in our lives.

Food’s been with you through it all.

Exploring your relationship with food offers an invitation to explore the relationship you have with your body, your history, those around you, and yourself.

I’m here virtually grabbing Seth’s hand and inviting you to grab mine. Of course, you don’t have to say yes to every party you’re invited to but if you choose to say yes to this one, reply with “I’m in!” and I’ll add you as a subscriber.

I’ll be sharing thoughts, insights, and inspirations on our relationship with food and the unique lens I’ve come to see it through in partnership with my clients.

I don’t yet have it all figured out but that’s what leaping is all about!

Stay tuned …

I’m rooting for you 💪❤️🙌

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